Why not drinking alcohol, isn’t really about just not drinking alcohol.

When you first think about giving up drinking, chances are – all eyes are on “not drinking” and rightly so. To begin with, abstinence is the priority. But if you want to stay not drinking, and more importantly HAPPY with not drinking – you need to get under the skin of your own mindset. 

I talk a lot about mindset, almost as much as I talk about sobriety because in reality emotional sobriety IS the key to not drinking. 

When you are using alcohol to numb, relax, celebrate or as a way to combat boredom – eliminating your only source of THAT coping mechanism will only result in so many days of sobriety.

Probably a lot of them miserable.

It’s why so many people run hurtling back to the drink after Dry January and I speak from experience, that was me too. After all, Dry January or Stoptober doesn’t encourage you to experiment with a life of joyful sobriety. Dry January is typically an exercise in white knuckling through not drinking for 31 days. On Day 3, still bloated from the excesses of Christmas and on a motivated fitness kick, it seems easy peasy. By Day 26, when you haven’t replaced your fun Friday nights with anything else and haven’t figured out a different way to manage your stress – you’re counting down the days until you can reach for the bottle opener, if you’ve even made it that far. 

THIS is why I talk about mindset. If you are looking at your relationship with alcohol, BUT NOT looking at your relationship with stress, not looking at how to learn to allow yourself guilt free rest, not looking at how to express yourself, not looking at how to develop self trust and self confidence, not looking at how to manage sadness or tiring days – sobriety will ALWAYS feel exhausting. 

However, once you develop EMOTIONAL sobriety, deep self awareness, own your story and commit to creating some real change, that’s when living sober becomes joyful. 

It becomes more than just not drinking, it becomes a life of peace, of serenity, of clarity, of achievement, of fulfilling your goals, of allowing yourself joy and truly a life of mental and emotional freedom. 

And that is the real gift of sobriety.

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