Three things that are signs you should look at your drinking.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but if you do these three things often, I’m sorry to tell you but there’s a really good chance you need to look seriously at your drinking. 

Cards on the table, I am almost certain that you don’t want to stop drinking. That’s normal, lots of people who need to stop drinking don’t want to stop drinking. As a reformed piss artist who used to love nothing more than experimenting with cocktails in the pantry, wine tasting every chance I got and building WHOLE holidays around vineyards – I didn’t want to give up drinking either. I would find myself reading artiles like these hoping to find irrefutable proof that I didn’t need to give up drinking. I didn’t want to be a boring sober person after all. I just wanted to drink normally. And if you’re here, I’d take my chances that you might also be here hoping that I’m going to tell you that you don’t need to give up alcohol.

So, what are the three signs that indicate that you might have to take giving up drinking a bit more seriously?

1. You are constantly creating and changing alcohol rules for yourself. What do I mean? It could look like this:

• I’m only going to drink three nights a week.

• I’m going to have a maximum of two drinks now when I go out. 

• I’m going to leave my card at home (nightmare when we’ve got Apple Pay now) so thatI can only spend the cash I’ve got on me and will stop dirnking when that runs out. 

• I’m going to alternate every alcoholic drink with water. 

• I am going not going to drink wine/beer/tequila anymore – I’m going to stick to wine/beer/rum (delete as necessary)

• Waking up in the morning and telling yourself that you will absolutely NOT drink that night. 

  
  

What do all these rules have in common? Nine times out of ten, you break them. You are desperately trying to create rules that ALLOW you to continue to drink and creating the rules gives you a false sense of control. And I’m going to tell you something now that may well piss you off but that you need to hear – normal drinkers do not create rules around alcohol. Normal drinkers do not NEED to create rules around alcohol because they are not trying to control something that is out of their control. 

2. You take part in alcohol free challenges. This may seem counter intuitive – “What do you mean if I can do Sober October – I might have a drinking problem? Surely it means I DON’T have a drinking problem?”  Well that is my point exactly. Doing dry challenges in and of itself isn’t necessarily an issue but you need to ask yourself honestly – WHY am I doing these challenges? For a lot of people, it is for a couple of main reasons and what I hear is this, the first is that they need a break from drinking. The second is that they want to prove to themselves that they can. Going back to the first point, once again I hate to break it to you but people with a normal relationship with alcohol do not need to take month long breaks from drinking. People with normal relationship with alcohol do not need to prove to themselves or to their partner, their mum, their friends that they can actually take a break from drinking, because alcohol just doesn’t feature that heavily in their lives. 

3. When you are out with friends, you keep a close eye on what they are drinking, how much they are drinking and how fast they are drinking – because honestly, they just aren’t keeping up with you and it’s doing you fucking head in. You find yourself sitting with your friend, smiling and nodding along to what they’re saying but in your head  it can sound a bit like this 

“Christ you are drinking so slowly, this story isn’t even that interesting – just take a breath and drink your drink, even just sip, just make progress ffs. Can’t you see I’m out already and I can’t exactly order another one whilst yours is still half full. Oop, remember to listen, smile. For God’s sake, this is so slow. Right, it’s fine – actually  I WILL  just order another drink, I can say I was thirsty - okay where is the waiter where is the waiter where is the waiter?”

Or maybe when you both decide to order a glass of wine, you decide it’d better to order a bottle – ‘it’ll work out cheaper’ you both giggle but actually you find it’s so much easier to be able to be able to top yourself up without having to wait for the waiter who is officially the slowest man alive, to bring you your next drink. You also find with a bottle, if your friend is drinking slowly, typically you end up with more – win win. For the third and final time, people who have a normal relationship with alcohol do not focus on the alcohol, they focus on the friendship and the conversations. I used to think it was just me, but after hundreds of conversations with people, I know that this is so common and yet we all think it is just us being a bad friend. You are NOT a bad friend, but you are unfortunately looking at a potential issue with alcohol. 

‘Normal drinkers’ do not obsess or focus on alcohol. Normal drinkers include alcohol as a part of their life, a part of the fun and something that they can take or leave and if you feel like you can’t just take it or leave it, then you may need to have an honest conversation with yourself. 

As a bonus point. Sorry, but if you’re reading this – you probably know in your heart of hearts and are once again looking for evidence that you don’t have an issue with alcohol. You don’t want to quit, you just want to be a normal drinker. 

Sadly normal drinkers don’t need to look for evidence that they are normal drinkers – and that in itself is all the proof you need. 

Love always, 

Laura, That Sober Yachtie

Sober Crew Social Club

Here as always for support and conversation around all things sobriety and yachting. If you need extra support, I can put you in touch with intervention services.  If you are suffering with a mental health crisis and need critical assistance please contact your local emergency services.

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